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Hinge expert shares dating advice for ambitious nerds

From My First Million · Published Jul 4, 2025 · Watch on YouTube

TL;DR

Logan Ury, Hinge’s director of relationship science, argues dating is a learnable skill analogous to business. The core insight: most men fail because they don’t do basic effort (weak profile, zero questions, no follow‑up) while applying optimal‑stop theory (the “secretary problem”) to avoid endless searching for perfection.

Key insights

  • Dating is a modern invention (since ~1800s); no one is born knowing how to do it, so it must be taught like a skill.
  • The secretary problem / optimal‑stop theory: search ~37% of your potential dating pool, then commit to the next person as good or better – used as a metaphor, not a literal formula (age 26 as hypothet
  • Satisficers are happier and make equally good decisions as maximizers (Adam Grant research); maximizers search longer and then second‑guess their choice.

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